Thursday, 6 August 2009

Life's a mystery

I've decided at the grand age of 52 that life remains somewhat of a mystery.......? It's certainly been for many reasons one of the most distinct years I've had in a long time - both good and bad - and one that I pretty much think I'll be pleased to see the back of! Firstly, there is nothing like illness and bereavement to reveal to you friends and people who genuinely care about you - those who phone up out of the blue and offer a listening ear or the offer of a shared bottle of wine or coffee (guess which one I prefer!!). With technology now of course there are the texts as well - where just a few shortened words at least show that people have remembered and care about you.

As a pub landlady you tend to be the centre of attention most of the time, whether you like it or not - it's a pivotal role and mostly one that I cherish if I'm truthful. The drums of my small local community have been working overtime the last few weeks, but the compassion and care shown to me has been amazing - not at all like the sheer nosiness I've always known from the coldness of a large City. I know with absolute certainty now that I have some great life long friends in Salcombe.

Then there are funerals in general - what an incredible thing they are when you think about them............Firstly, you invariably see faces that you long since forgot about or they are older and you are shocked to think that so much time has passed by. Then of course, there is the emotion of the day itself that somehow manages to make me want a very large G & T in one go and yet to be super fit and never have to be at the receiving end of the service all in one go!!! As for flowers at funerals - I always consider them a real waste of money - and yet, to see all those beautiful colours on such a cold miserable day seems to help a little. Then there is always the aftermath - 'did you see...?' 'well, fancy so & so turning up'.... the conversations that can last for hours about all the incidentals. Thats pretty much where I've been this week really.......

So in a nutshell my friends those are a fraction of the emotions that have been in my head the last couple of weeks - either all together or in little clumps....... so right now it'll be no surprise to you that I'm veering between wonderful bars of Cadbury's milk chocolate (stored behind me in the office where I type- how convenient is that!!) or pouring over diet / fitness books / websites...!!!

But, incredibly (and thankfully) Salcombe has given me great solace this last couple of weeks........ the (F'ing) seagulls have at last hatched their chicks and their screams are quite different - you can hear the protectiveness in the gull's voices and watching a small gull trying to fly and THEN land the other day actually brought a tear to my eye....... yes it did!! It's been incredible to hear the baby chicks and then try to see where the noise is coming from only to observe them trying to keep their balance on the roofs..........couple with that I've seen them in the water and they look so nervous and fearful but the parent seagulls are never too far away. The tale of the seagulls has been a great re-inforcer of the power of life.

Then there has been the weather itself in Salcombe - we've had rain here last week the like of which I've not seen since we moved down here and incredible winds ..... and you know what? I absolutely loved it!! The power of the sea in bad weather moving the little boats about as they're moored alongside and the noises they make are incredible, the lifeboat strains against it's mooring and creaks as though asking to be set free and the yachts moored out in the estuary bob about as though they are childrens toys.

So life remains a mystery to me, and I'm sure it always will, but I've found many a reason to go out for a walk just to watch nature at play, feel the rain on my face and thank God for my life down here in Salcombe.

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